Thursday, 29 January 2009

betrayal five

so i can't stop watching scrubs, series 5 has proved to be a great success.

its 2:35am. i have been attempting to get to sleep for the past hour but i have so many thoughts running through my head it's like clapham junction in there. completely impossible to sleep even though i'm shattered.

i question my own mental sanity sometimes. even though something is in my face, so obvious, i'm so scared of change i would rather live my life doubting myself than speak out and give myself a break.

one thing in my life kept me going. one thing i thought was genuine. the one thing that it was i thought would never change and never ever make me feel as low as i do right now.

i have one question running through my head, but it's the one thing i never want to know. never knowing is going to haunt me for a long time- this is a good example of ways in which i torture myself.

i don't know if i'm okay, but i can put on a brave face and hope and pray that nothing like this will ever happen to me again.

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